...she came in and changed my life completely...
You see, 6 years ago today (at 1:50 pm to be precise) a miracle happened.
After 4 years of trying and 3 miscarriages, this seeming barren body (1st diagnosis) then defective body (2nd diagnosis) birthed my beautiful best friend and daughter, Isabella Faith Overstreet.
And her entrance into my life still astounds me!
In the past 6 years I have watched her go from a tiny, squiggling newborn completely dependent on me to the stunning, witty and independent Child of God that she is today.
Do we have our issues? Sure we do! Do we drive each other nuts? Sure we do! Are we just alike? Sure we are!
Do I love her like mad? Would I lay everything down for her? Do I go crazy when I'm apart from her for any length of time?
Because, you see...she took an extra special dose of FAITH to get her here. Because of that I cherished EVERY moment that she squiggled around inside of me and EVERY moment in those first few weeks that I just sat in the living room and stared at her! I needed that reminder today. So I found this letter that I wrote for her when I was about 5 months pregnant...
Wednesday, June 5, 2002
My Dearest Isabella,
Where do I begin…? Well, I guess at the very beginning would be a great start, huh? When I found out you were coming around 4 months ago, my heart jumped for joy while breaking at the same time. Your Daddy and I had already pretty much figured out you were coming, but I was too scared to know for sure. My heart was overjoyed just at the thought that we were going to have you, but it broke in fear that we might lose you. I literally took your being inside of me minute-by-minute. I cherished everything, though. And here’s why…
I just first have to tell you, your ultrasounds astound me still! To see you grow from that tiny little speck in the top left corner of the picture to a beautiful little girl with arms, legs, 10 fingers, 10 toes, her daddy’s nose and ears and her mommy’s hips (I’m sorry) still makes me cry. When I see you on that screen or in the picture I just want to hold so close to my heart and never let you go. I will be able to soon enough.
I thank God FOR you, but there are a few things I need to thank you for, Isabelle. These are things that I have only ever gotten to experience because of you. I thank you for the bond you have created with me. I thank you for the tingly feel of my stretching belly. I thank you the sight of my almost-gone bellybutton. I thank you for the stretch marks (a.k.a. badges of honor). I thank you for the glow that everyone sees in me since you came onto the scene. I thank you for the heart-stopping movements in my tummy. They still continue to take my breath away! I thank you for making me the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen. I thank you for the closeness you bring to me and your daddy when you kick him and when you show off your strong heartbeat on the fetal monitors. I thank you for the most cherished video I will ever posses (second only to the one of the day I married your daddy).
I thank you for the feeling of elation and fear that mix together and make a real funny feeling inside. (By the way, you just kicked….thank you.) I thank you for your strange eating habits. I had hoped you would take after me instead of Daddy on that one ;-) I thank you for depending on me and loving me unconditionally. I thank you for the excitement that I get when I wake up in the morning and realize all over again that I’m having you. It makes the mornings so much better. I thank you for allowing me to stare at you (behind my belly) in amazement all the time…in the shower, in the car, at work, etc. I thank you for letting me have this beautiful belly to hold and protect. I thank you for bringing us closer to your family and adopted aunts/uncles. I thank you for the miracle you represent and the testimony you have allowed me to give. I thank you for helping strengthen my prayer life. Oh, baby girl!! I thank you for so much, and you aren’t even here yet. Just wait!
I also wanted to thank you for the vivid images you give me every day. I can actually picture holding you for the first time and I have never even seen you. I can see you staring at your daddy in awe and him back at you in love. I see family and friends with tears falling that have waited so long for you. I see the sweet moments you’ll share with me, and I see the crazy ones you’ll share with Daddy…your first fish, your first deer, your first father-daughter banquet, your first boo-boo when you and he wrestle a little too hard, and your last kiss as a single woman. I can’t wait to see you get on the school bus for the first time. I can’t wait to see your first report card. I can’t wait to see you graduate kindergarten, junior high, high school and college. But right now, my darling Belle, I just can’t wait to see you!
I hope and pray so much for you. I pray you will be born completely healthy. I pray you will immediately know how much we all love you. I pray you come to know Jesus as your Lord and Savior at an early age. I pray you have the fullest and happiest life imaginable. I pray you grow to respect your elders. I have SO much to pray for you. Most of all, I pray you will follow the will of God. As long as you do that, all of my other prayers will work out according to HIS riches in glory!
One more thing…Daddy and I have no clue what we are doing. We do not have all of the answers and we do not expect to. Please bear with us. I cannot promise you that we will not mess up, and mess up, and mess up. I cannot promise that everything will be perfect here for you. But I CAN promise that we will love you immensely and try to do what we will pray is in your best interest. Always remember that.
I’ll write again later. Until then I love you, and I will see you in about 4 months. I can’t wait.
Baby girl...I still promise to always love you! I couldn't have imagined when I wrote this letter everything that God would make you for Him...for me. You are His! You are loving and tenderhearted when someone is hurt. You cry with them. No matter who they are. You teach me so often things about God from the back seat of the car. And they come from out of the blue! I hear you, LORD. Continue to use her. You can s-a-n-g! Whew my heart melts when I hear you sing! And I love sneaking a peek when you get to worshipping God. And I get my heart ripped out when I watch you take care of your little brother even when he just hit you.
Thank you for being you! Thank you for loving me!
Now and always, I love you!