Sunday, June 6, 2010

Yes, I MUST Have Married when I was 10, Thank You

Because 12 years ago today, I married that man of of mine.

Ive been dealing with a couple of weddings recently and the whole vow thing and it has caused me to reflect on these 12 years and what those vows really mean.

You see...I don't think young pup newlyweds really have a clue what those vows mean. So in light of this day, I shall review those standard pieces of the vows myself.

I promise to love, comfort, honor and keep you. For better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health.

Holy cow! What was I saying? We had some other mushy gushy to say to one another, but including these standard sentences was important to us. I thought those were just cool words to say and have everyone in the audience oooh and ahhh as we said them with tear stains dripping down.

Now, 12 years later, I would like to say them...here...again. With all of this age and experience under my belt. Here goes...

I promise to love...
Love when I was 19 meant something totally different than love now. Love is what has seen us thru years of ups and downs...disagreements and happiness...hard times and good times. This isn't the mushy love like the movies portray it will be for us all. It LOVE! Love like Christ loves the church is how that man loves me! Agape! Not emotional love...love that cannot...DOES NOT ever change. Even when I'm my worst of the worst and wretched...he still loves me. Does he drive me crazy sometimes? Yes! But I would be more crazy if he didn't love me the way he does.

comfort...
We have learned what it means to truly comfort. Not just put an arm around the other and say "it'll be ok" but comfort the depths of each other! As we have morned the loss of 4 children together, I don't think we could have done it with out the Love of God and the comfort of each other. It's amazing to me how when one of us is feeling down for one reason or another, the other one just "happens" to be in their strongest moments. That's a God thang!

honor...
Whoa! Honor is tough! Honor is thinking of the other one far above yourself. So far above yourself that when you find yourself left with a choice you think of how it might effect that other person. Even if they never know about it. Honor is something that has been definitely put to the test in 12 years.

keep you...
Keeping you involves every choice that is made to keep and protect the other. That the decisions and actions you do are with the intentions of keeping the other one at your side. It's still a struggle sometimes, but it's definitely a choice.

for better...
There's been lots of betters. We all want to only have the betters when we say these vows. Thank God for the betters! The huge milestones in our 12 years that have blessed our socks off and shaped us to be who we are now. Including those 2 little kiddos we have.

or for worse...
For worse...I get so sick of hearing people say things like "Oh...we have no disagreements or fights or etc." Liars. No 2 people will get 100% along 100% of the time. I'm thankful for our worse that we have had over the years. It has shaped us and still continues to teach us daily more about each other and about the structure of a family that was set apart by God. Even the worse are blessings...beauty from ashes. When you will let them be.

in richer...
Well...haven't exactly experienced this one yet! Just kidding! We are beyond rich in so many ways. Our kiddos even know that if someone asks if they are rich they say "YES! We have Jesus in our hearts and a family that loves us!"

Bingo!!!!

in poorer...
We have definitely seen the poorer! There was a time right after we had Baby Boy that we learned a lot about God's structure for finances. I'm so thankful that He is delivering us from that. And that we were able to not bury our head in the sand and just face it all. Together.

in sickness...
Oh, sickness. Hello. How are you? We can throw our miscarriages here, but I've already talked about them. But there is one other situation where I literally could have died that about brings me to tears when I focus on it too much. That man of mine...He walked thru it with me. And our kids. And our families. And I'm so thankful!

in health...
And we've had the health to walk side-by-side in. I'm very thankful that God has blessed all 4 of us with wonderful health for the most part.

It's kinda funny that looking back the easiest pieces, health and richer and better, are the pieces where I had the least to say. Why? Because we didn't grow as much in those times as we did in the others. The others that you don't REALLY want to say in your vows, but say them any way to look cool. Or maybe you even leave them out. But it's in those valleys where fruit can really grow.

And I thank God for my man who has rolled up his pant legs and hoisted me up on his shoulders so my feet can get the least amount of dirty as we go thru these valleys. Sometimes we have ran thru them.
Sometimes we have slowly walked thru them.
And sometimes we have just had to stand there and wait in them.

But on the other side is 12 years of good fruit!



I love you, Hubs!
Let's go wash our feet...

3 comments:

Mandy said...

I'm just having to wipe away my tears as I've read this. All you say is so true and starting out we could have never known what was in store for us through this journey called life.

The Proctors said...

Happy Anniversary to you guys! I loved reading this!

Rebecca said...

Happy Anniversary! :)