unBelief

*Disclaimer: This post is a ramble. It is being birthed from a VERY hard day today.*

We say "as Christians" all the time...

I believe!

I believe God for the healing of my neighbors torn rotator cuff.
I believe God for getting Susan's jalopy of a car from the house to work.
I believe God for protecting my friends baby girl from the bullies at school.
I believe God for showing righteous indignation on that person that hurt my BFFs feelings.

Well...maybe I'm the only one who's ever believed God for something I shouldn't. No?

Believing God is easy.

When it's just that...E-A-S-Y!

AND...when it's for someone else.

It's so easy for us to raise those 5 fingers in these situations, isn't it? Everyone raise your hand and say it with me:

God is who He says He is.
God can do what He says He can do.
I am who God says I am.
I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me.
God's Word is alive and active in me.
I'm Believing God!
~beth moore

Now...we can say those whenever right? For someone else or for ourselves. But I have a tendency to see that we,in general, really only truly believe every single word of that when it is for something we see as "easy" for God (which in reality everything IS) or when it is for someone else.

For instance...I am my friends #1 cheerleader when it comes to this kind of stuff. My best friend has an irritating disease that covers her whole body? I'm Believing God to heal her. (PS--He did!) Another best friend doesn't know how they will pay for their baby's medical equipment and can only speak doubt about it? I'm Believing God to fully fund it for them. (PS--He did!) My pastor and family have their rent house foreclosed out from under them and have just moments to get out and find somewhere else to live? I'm Believing God to blow their socks off with a new home. (PS--He did!) Another friend who spent her entire life in horrible relationships and wondered if God would ever send her Kinsman Redeemer? I'm Believing God to send him. (PS--He did!)

See? How easy was that?

Until I need to believe for myself.

Carrying babies full term? I'll waller in self pity, thanks. Getting debt free? I'll waller in self pity, thanks. Clearing our name from slander? I'll waller in self pity, thanks. Keeping my marriage from crumbling? I'll waller in self pity, thanks. Set my baby girl free from schoolyard bullying? I'll waller in self pity, thanks.

Why? Why is it so much easier to trust and believe for everyone else?

Is God any bigger for those I love dearly and their circumstances than He is/would be for my very own? Does he care more for theirs than he does for mine? Was I sure that theirs would be answered but not so sure mine would be?

The answers: No, No...and sadly yes.

WHY? Because sometimes my heart will continue to focus on the storm rather than the Answer that is resting right in the boat with me.

Hmmmm....

So here I am, the dad in Mark 9:24...I do believe...help me overcome my unbelief!