Boy, it has been a year. That's about all I can come up with to explain the mind full of thoughts where My Baby Girl is concerned. I can officially say this has been my toughest year (so far) as a Momma.
That being said...I'm very grateful to have perfectly healthy and smart and talented and compassionate and funny (the list could go on forever) kids and I fully realize how truly blessed I am where that is concerned.
However, since my kiddoes will read this one day and because it's been heavy on my heart lately, I'm blogging about it.
You see...when we were at Ida Burns, I watched a strong, confident, compassionate, outgoing and yet sensitive little Mini-Me begin to emerge in my Girl. Not a sad or rude bone in her body, people were just drawn to her. She wasn't the "popular" girl like you would think of, but everyone just loved her. She was voted "Best Friend" if that tells you anything. People would come to her for help, or a hug or whatever! She was even asked to be a school ambassador because she "had a way of making people feel comfortable."
That's my girl!
Well, that was my girl.
Then we moved. She was sad to leave her friends, but so excited to start at her new school. She already knew a few people there and after meeting her teacher was stoked!
But then...the bullying started. And yes, at times, we have had the upper hand. But My Man and I have just steadily watched her spirit become more and more crushed as the days go by. She began to cry to me the other morning as I was doing her hair about another situation (not quite bullying, but still just not fitting in). Then she asked "Can't you just fix it for me?" When I told her no she replied with, "BUT YOU ALWAYS SAID IF ANYONE MESSES WITH BABY BEAR THEY WOULD HAVE TO GO THRU MOMMA BEAR FIRST!"
I explained while that is true, I also cannot always fight her battles for her. That she will never grow up and become the woman that God wants her to be if Momma is always stepping in and fixing everything for her.
As hard as that is.
This Sunday morning I went to pray with her and spoke some things into her heart and into her life that I pray encourages her.
And in the meantime...
To My Girl,
You are beautiful! I don't care what those kids call you, you are absolutely the most beautiful young lady I have ever laid eyes on! Sure you don't fit the mold that everyone else around you is trying to fit into, but you know what...who cares! You were born to break the mold sister! You have your own style and look and I think you rock.
You are smart! I know you take joy in telling me and Daddy things that we don't know...err...have forgotten since school. You're only 8 years old and some of the stuff you come up with makes me prouder than anything. And your witt...I'm so glad you still have some Barber in you!
Your heart is amazing! Even in the face of the adversity, you still find a way to show compassion to your adversaries. What a heart! I don't know many 8 year olds who are willing to do and say some of the things you do where life is concerned. Geez...I don't know many 30 years olds willing to do that! But oh, to watch you molding and shaping into a beautiful young lady right before my eyes is astonishing! I can't wait to see what else God has in store for you.
I know you don't understand any of this right now. I know you just want the "catfish" to stop swimming in your pond. But Baby Girl...you blow my mind! And I can't wait to look back on this with you one day and be able to say "Here...I raise my Ebenezer stone." That THIS is where a huge part of my shaping began.
I love you darling girl,