Friday, September 30, 2011

9 Years With Her and She Still Astounds Me Every Day

By the time you are reading this, My Man and I are climbing in the bed with My Not-so-Baby Girl and singing a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday to wake her up for school. Because today, My Not-So-Baby Girl turns 9 Years Old!

But I'm writing this the night before. About the same time that 9 years ago, I was walking and walking and walking around the bar in my house. Stopping every few minutes to double over in pain. Then, at straight up 9:00 pm, as I crossed from the carpet to the tile in my kitchen...POW! My water broke.

All my years of wanting, praying, losing, wanting, praying, losing babies had all come down. To this very moment. There was no turning back. I'm going to have a baby. This baby. My baby. My Girl.

My Isabella Faith.

I remember the next day. The 30th. At 1:50 pm. Baptist Hospital. They pulled a gross, squishy faced, screaming little 6lb 9oz 21 inch little girl. A girl. My girl. A mini-me.

What in the world have I done? How am I, someone as screwed up as me, raise a child? And a GIRL nonetheless!!! Heavens, I don't want her to be like me. I'm gonna soooooo screw this up!

But God is good!

He has taken my ashes and made absolute beauty out of it in the form of My Baby Girl.


You still astound me every day.

You and I were talking the other day about how each of us have a "something". You told me that you didn't have a "something". Oh, sweet have more somethings than I could ever even begin to document! A few of my favorite things about you:

1. Your Heart: I haven't met any other 9 year old with a heart like yours. When you were going thru the bullying situations last year and I told you to walk away or tell them you don't want them to come around you anymore, you said you "couldn't hurt their feelings like that". You have more compassion that most adults that I know. You ALWAYS give people (except your brother every now and then) the benefit of the doubt.

You still astound me every day.

2. Your Wit: You are the funniest kid! You totally get adult humor and make some of the funniest one liners. And they aren't rude or attitudeish like many kids or age or even teenagers. They are just flat. out. HILARIOUS! The Barber Tradition continues!

You still astound me every day.

3. Your Nurturing: Watching you with your brother (when y'all ARENT fighting) is a beautiful thing to me. You go out of your way to help teach him. And not just here's your alphabet, but teach him things that you are learning in 3rd grade. I catch you when no one is looking being so kind to him and so encouraging to him even when sometimes, he isn't quite as encouraging to you.

You still astound me every day.

4. Your Creativity: Ok. I claim this one completely LOL! When you are bored, you will pull out your craft supplies and begin just making stuff up. Stuff to give to your friends at school or something for me and daddy or your brother. And watching you "plan" something just warms me right on up inside!!!! You create your own "excel-type" spreadsheet. Even just the other day...after your birthday party news was apparently spreading around school, some girls asked you to help teach them how to be "a nerdy tomboy". You came home and immediately sat down to plan out ways to help them become a nerdy tomboy.

You still astound me every day.

5. Your Voice: Gets better almost every day. I can remember when you were 6 and first started learning harmonies. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I wondered if maybe I was partial. Until one day after potluck at church one of our guitarists were messing around on stage. You walked up on stage, grabbed a microphone and began to sing. First, just worship songs and the guitarist just picked up and followed you. BUT began to sing a song you made up in your head! A beautiful worship song from your heart. Pretty soon, the congregation was back in the sanctuary watching in awe.

You still astound me every day.

5. Your Resolve for God: Girl, you do not waiver when it comes to things about God. What the Word says is what the Word says. Period. You believe it and no one is going to change your mind. You aren't ashamed either. You have been telling your own brother for years that he was going to hell if he didn't let Jesus in. You even told our new pastor at lunch the other day that you are comfortable at oneChurch, but not uncomfortable. And that that is how it should be. "You should NEVER feel comfortable in church." A friend actually wrote this to her the day you were born: "When I look into your face, I don't see a baby. I see God's handiwork. I didn't hear you whimper, I hear God whispering to us of His love. As others hear you crying out loud, I hear God using your voice to remind us that He is Jehovah! Your very breath shouts of His faithfulness and mercy!"

Almost prophetic. You still astound me every day.

You have that "something" Baby Girl. And this is just a very very FEW of the "somethings" that you have to give. And I get to live them every single day and realize that God loved me so much to bless me with you.

Happy Birthday, Belle! These have been the sweetest and best 9 years of my life. And you STILL astound me every day.


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