Guest Post

She kept talking about how excited she was to have me paid off soon. And I was getting excited too. I mean, once she does we will get to go do much more fun stuff with the kiddos more often.

So she talked about dropping me off at the mechanics place this morning. Yeah, I need an oil change and my feet rotated and balanced up. No big deal.

But as I sat in the garage this morning I began to wonder. Was she just spiffing me up to trade me in? She was wasn't she? That's what this craziness was all about! After all these years? I've been so good to her!!!!

130,000 miles with no real problems.
I kept things stable when she hit that big pipe...no rolling from this chick!
I protected her when she had to run into the median to keep from hitting a stalled car on the interstate.
I brought her little boy home from the hospital..he was so precious.
I have protected her entire family all these years and this is the thanks I get...

...to be traded in!?!? Not this girl. I needed to get her attention and remind her who is really in charge here, didn't I. So I devised a plan. And here's how it went down...

She pulled into the parking space at 5:18 am this morning...
She put it in park just a few seconds later...
She opened the door to get out...here was my chance...
...I threw it in reverse...
My "arm" spanked her bottom and threw her to the ground as I rolled backwards...
I saw the cars coming, so I rolled slowly up the hill...gave her time to run and catch me...
She treated me just like the kids and tried to grab my arm to keep me from running into the street...didn't work...
She jumped in and slammed on my brakes...
Just my back feet were in the street, but I think it was enough to change her mind about me...

Now don't get all bent out of shape...I just wanted to scare her a little. I never meant to hurt her. Just wanted to make sure she knew who was in charge...



And just to be on the safe side, I sent a telepathic message to that truck that lives with me in the garage. He realized that Pops might want to trade him in soon too...

...so he killed his battery.

I think we are both safe now.

So, any of you cars out there who are a little scared your owner is planning to trade you in soon...gimme a call. We'll make sure it doesn't happen.

**Edited to add from the car's owner...I WAS NEVER PLANNING TO SELL YOU!!! Grow up, buck up and keep taking care of me, please!