Thursday, January 20, 2011

Reconciling defines reconcile as: to cause to accept or be resigned to something not desired.

There's been all sorts of things I have had to reconcile before. Banking account with the checkbook (all while trying to avoid crying). Relationships. Science to The Bible. Past to the present. Personality to the job. The 15 different faiths my mother made me participate in to THE Faith I have today. My iPhone.

And then there is reconciling the heart to the mind.

This is where I find myself right now. Trying to reconcile, to accept something not desired, my heart to my mind.

You see...My family has been facing a decision for the last 3-4 weeks. It's been in our face day in and day out. We've just been watching and waiting. About a week and a half ago it came full throttle and it was time to make some decisions. I was such an emotional wreck, I had to rely on and trust My Man to make the best decision for our family.

He made it.
We had complete peace.
The Word of God, The Bible, told us we could.

But then,
God spoke.
Gave A WORD.
To My Man.
In no uncertain terms.
Guess what?
At all.

If I'm honest with myself, I know it to be true. But dadgumit...I'm throwing a tantrum right now! My flesh is weak and wants to dig my heels in and say no. But it's not what is best for my family, and I know that. But I've done nothing by cry for days.

So here I am.
My head knows the Truth.
My heart it hurting.
I'm trying to reconcile.
My heart to my mind.


Mandy said...

I love you and my heart hurts for you, too.

The Proctors said...

I don't know the details, but wanted you to know that I'm praying for you guys. Love you!