Wednesday, September 7, 2011

It's in The Getting Back Up Again

Lemme remember this story...

When My Girl was about 3 years old, My Man suited her up. Helmet, elbow pads, knee pads and a load of confidence. She was headed out on her first real bike. In this very spot. It was soooooo cute! Even when she fell and busted up everything she had, she was still the cutest thing ever.

BUT, because of that one single bad experience, she has refused to get on another one since. And she'll be 9 in a few weeks. She's had many a opportunity with her new bikes along the way. But nope. Nuh-uh! Ain't having a bit of it!

Until the other day. She agreed to let us take her bike out to my Momma and Daddy's house to give it a shot again. Of course, we took Bubba's too.

He was ready to go first!

That boy jumped on that thing and took off! Now, if I had panned down just a bit, you would see the training wheels. Training wheels are designed to help you learn how to ride. To keep your balance. When you start to fall off, they help keep bad things from happening. He pedaled a few times and said, "Man, I'm awesome at this. I can totally ride a bike." And then he was done.

But you see...he didn't have any reason to think he couldn't do it. He had never been hurt riding a bike.

But then it was My Girl's turn. She was nervous. And I don't blame her! Her frame of reference had kept her off of one for years and years. What guarantee did she have that it wouldn't happen again? She didn't. It was a step of confidence on her part. Putting herself out there. One more time. If this didn't work, I KNEW it was OVER!

So, here she goes. She starts off. And she wobbles and she bobbles. But she keeps trying. But then...

...she falls.

And. She. Is. DONE! I can see it on her face. She is NOT going thru this again. She storms off and into the house.

Now, what you don't see in the pictures...including the one where she there are training wheels on that bike. But again, because of her frame of reference, it's like they aren't even there.

It was horrible. I went in the house to find her and had to hunt around. I found her standing on the other side of kitchen bawling her head off. I can't help but begin to tear up myself. Especially as she says, "Momma...I'll never be able to do this. I just can't. All other kids can do this so easily, but I can't."

I reassured her that she would be able to in her own time. But she can't give up. And also that she can do many many many things that other kids could never dream of doing. It didn't help, though. Sadly, she was too wounded and focused on this to see all of the other stuff around her that she is freaking AMAZING at!

So as of right now, that's where the story ends. I was going to keep those photos until I had more and more to the point where she was a pro. But the more and more I pondered on the photos I knew I had taken, a life lesson beyond this began to unfold in my heart.

Relationships. It's all about getting back up again!

Stay with me. This will all make sense soon enough.

My Boy...he jumped right on and had it "mastered" in just minutes. Just like friendships. When we have no hurting frame of reference we just dive right in. Lay it all out there. We have training wheels on the side so we never feel like anything will hurt us here.

Until it does.

My Girl...she was hurt so bad that she refused to even set foot close to it for years!

That's me. I'm My Girl. Between a family member who set me on a path of not trusting people and then a situation over the last 9 years that Satan used to destroy me emotionally, My frame of reference where relationships were concerned kept me from entering into any more that I could allow past the surface. I had my core and that was plenty.

Until the last few years. I had began to say, 'Ok. I'm ready again! Let's load up the bike and try this sucker again.' I had my training wheels back on. If I swerved, I could recover better this time. But I trusted I wouldn't get hurt. Not this time. Not by them. Surely.

Boy was I Wrong!!!

But you know what? I've learned. I've grown. I didn't run inside and say I'm never doing this again this time.

I threw that daggum bike away and got me a shiny new one!

Go me!

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